Bigbastflab is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, awe-inspiring fox.

Bigbastflab created dark matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bigbastflab, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bigbastflab, he will turn you into a worm.

Bigbastflab's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bigbastflab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five gold sculptures of Bigbastflab on top of important buildings.

2. Always help mites.

3. Bigbastflab must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never run in the presence of sharks.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.