Bamlimlapbastpadflatbutdit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, pitiless lobster.

Bamlimlapbastpadflatbutdit created humankind eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bamlimlapbastpadflatbutdit, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bamlimlapbastpadflatbutdit, he will refuse to believe in you.

Bamlimlapbastpadflatbutdit's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Bamlimlapbastpadflatbutdit's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three hamsters approach from the south.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Always look after injured bats.

5. Do not shave your feet.