Gankapaf is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, staggering penguin.

Gankapaf created the Black Eye Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gankapaf, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gankapaf, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Gankapaf's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Gankapaf's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gankapaf.

3. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never talk about turtles.

5. Never feed rice to mice while wearing black kilts.