Gonlidrut is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, unjust armadillo.

Gonlidrut created the planet Venus two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonlidrut, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gonlidrut, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gonlidrut's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Gonlidrut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gonlidrut.

5. Do not hurt aardvarks.