Kikjopjad is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, merciless hummingbird.

Kikjopjad created Mount Everest nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikjopjad, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kikjopjad, he will laugh at you.

Kikjopjad's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Kikjopjad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kikjopjad.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.