Tagtitkip Zedquamcuss is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, blissful clam.

Tagtitkip Zedquamcuss created a photon two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tagtitkip Zedquamcuss, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tagtitkip Zedquamcuss, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tagtitkip Zedquamcuss' most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Tagtitkip Zedquamcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat strawberries.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Worship no other gods but Tagtitkip Zedquamcuss.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Do not stand on grass.