Libtikbadfagquaftagsakwig Futbodflabmap is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, merciful wren.

Libtikbadfagquaftagsakwig Futbodflabmap created the Tadpole Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Libtikbadfagquaftagsakwig Futbodflabmap, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Libtikbadfagquaftagsakwig Futbodflabmap, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Libtikbadfagquaftagsakwig Futbodflabmap's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Libtikbadfagquaftagsakwig Futbodflabmap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed grapes to turtles while wearing pink trousers.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never hurt aardvarks.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.