Lenshavbithabkomjopgem is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, narcissistic goblin.

Lenshavbithabkomjopgem created the universe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lenshavbithabkomjopgem, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Lenshavbithabkomjopgem, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Lenshavbithabkomjopgem's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Lenshavbithabkomjopgem's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from violet mice for they are unholy.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Always obey Lenshavbithabkomjopgem's priests.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not cook food in pots.