Hatgidgut is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, competent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Hatgidgut created silver six million years ago.

If you believe in Hatgidgut, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hatgidgut, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Hatgidgut's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Hatgidgut's Holy Commandments

1. Cats are not to be trusted.

2. You must pray to Hatgidgut seven times a day.

3. Never feed rice to rats while wearing brown rings.

4. Erect six iron sculptures of Hatgidgut on top of important buildings.

5. Worship no other gods but Hatgidgut.