Mabvabfarn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, staggering snail.

Mabvabfarn created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mabvabfarn, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Mabvabfarn, she will turn you into a snail.

Mabvabfarn's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Mabvabfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured seals.

2. Hide from pink rats for they are unholy.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never talk about black holes.

5. Do not take Mabvabfarn's name in vain.