Hotweg Nurlfub is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, generous cat.

Hotweg Nurlfub created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Hotweg Nurlfub, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hotweg Nurlfub, he will turn you into a mouse.

Hotweg Nurlfub's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Hotweg Nurlfub's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Retreat if five ducks approach from the south.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Always help otters in need.