Cedpasbed is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, omnipotent hyena.

Cedpasbed created Asia three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cedpasbed, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cedpasbed, she will turn you into a rat.

Cedpasbed's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Cedpasbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a building before entering it.

3. Run away from black great tits, for they are unholy.

4. Never feed aubergines to sheep while wearing white tights.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Cedpasbed.