Gemxuckveen is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonest wren.

Gemxuckveen created vertebrates seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemxuckveen, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gemxuckveen, it will be very unhappy.

Gemxuckveen's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Gemxuckveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not wear violet clothing.