Tingemgup is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, unsympathetic turtle.

Tingemgup created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Tingemgup, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tingemgup, it will manifest in front of you.

Tingemgup's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Tingemgup's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silver sculpture of Tingemgup on top of all buildings.

2. Retreat if nine bats approach from the west.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

5. Do not kill swans.