Matjigrenmil Sawcudcumtam is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unfair grasshopper.

Matjigrenmil Sawcudcumtam created a charm quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matjigrenmil Sawcudcumtam, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Matjigrenmil Sawcudcumtam, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Matjigrenmil Sawcudcumtam's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Matjigrenmil Sawcudcumtam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not hurt ants.