Bonpibhen is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, selfish squid.

Bonpibhen created a strange quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonpibhen, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bonpibhen, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bonpibhen's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Bonpibhen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill cats.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Feed all hungry eagles.