Hugxuckgig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, fussy hyena.

Hugxuckgig created vertebrates two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hugxuckgig, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hugxuckgig, it will come to you in dreams.

Hugxuckgig's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Hugxuckgig's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Never go into purple rooms.