Pomtargjon Mislikfat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, egotistical shrew.

Pomtargjon Mislikfat created everything that exists nine million years ago.

If you believe in Pomtargjon Mislikfat, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pomtargjon Mislikfat, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Pomtargjon Mislikfat's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Pomtargjon Mislikfat's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three badgers approach from the east.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Never feed coconuts to whales while wearing purple boots.

5. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.