Kopsandgodyik is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, narcissistic human.

Kopsandgodyik created the universe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kopsandgodyik, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Kopsandgodyik, he will turn you into a snail.

Kopsandgodyik's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Kopsandgodyik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. You must love Kopsandgodyik.

3. Never jump in the presence of ducks.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never go into orange rooms.