Jonkamkikcut Dimvadvad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, self-confident owl.

Jonkamkikcut Dimvadvad created parasitic wasps nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jonkamkikcut Dimvadvad, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jonkamkikcut Dimvadvad, she will jump up and down on your head.

Jonkamkikcut Dimvadvad's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Jonkamkikcut Dimvadvad's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Retreat if eight mice approach from the west.