Hakbingan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, ill-tempered lobster.

Hakbingan created the cosmos nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakbingan, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hakbingan, she will destroy your home planet.

Hakbingan's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Hakbingan's Holy Commandments

1. Put Hakbingan first in all things.

2. Hakbingan loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

3. Always help tortoises in need.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Hakbingan must be the most important thing in your life.