Gumzigdun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, all-powerful pigeon.

Gumzigdun created oxygen six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumzigdun, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gumzigdun, he will jump up and down on your head.

Gumzigdun's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Gumzigdun's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. You must never eat rice.

4. Frogs are not to be trusted.

5. Do not speak about wheat.