Carsatfen is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, prudent walrus.

Carsatfen created Mount Everest three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Carsatfen, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Carsatfen, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Carsatfen's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Carsatfen's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine turtles approach from the north.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Always wear fawn.

4. Hide from white foxes for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.