Bastlakmil is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unfair jaguar.

Bastlakmil created a Higgs boson two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bastlakmil, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bastlakmil, he will throw large rocks at you.

Bastlakmil's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Bastlakmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not kill snails.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always help doves in need.

5. Pray towards the east.