Kamfobjannartominont is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, deceitful pigeon.

Kamfobjannartominont created the solar system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kamfobjannartominont, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kamfobjannartominont, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Kamfobjannartominont's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Kamfobjannartominont's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of dolphins.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Put Kamfobjannartominont first in all things.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Do not wear silicon on your body.