Ban is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unjust narwhal.

Ban created a photon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Ban, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ban, he will cry a lot.

Ban's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Ban's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never paint your chest blue.

5. Never play with disobedient children.