Kabflagyarp Barnfud is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, competent bat.

Kabflagyarp Barnfud created snails two million years ago.

If you believe in Kabflagyarp Barnfud, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kabflagyarp Barnfud, it will turn you into a frog.

Kabflagyarp Barnfud's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Kabflagyarp Barnfud's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick swans.

2. Never think ill of sick cats.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kabflagyarp Barnfud.

4. Never feed tomatoes to rats while wearing purple skirts.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.