Flamyattsaw is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, omnipotent badger.

Flamyattsaw created Europe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamyattsaw, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Flamyattsaw, she will turn you into a puffin.

Flamyattsaw's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Flamyattsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

2. Never laugh in the presence of manatees.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always treat turtles with great respect.

5. Do not make images of living things.