Watparkdag is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, two-faced tortoise.

Watparkdag created viruses four years ago.

If you believe in Watparkdag, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Watparkdag, he will destroy your favourite star.

Watparkdag's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Watparkdag's Holy Commandments

1. Watparkdag must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Feed all hungry geese.

5. Always help sick monkeys.