Wiplapquagbif is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, deceitful grasshopper.

Wiplapquagbif created the Large Magellanic Cloud three million years ago.

If you believe in Wiplapquagbif, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Wiplapquagbif, it will manifest in front of you.

Wiplapquagbif's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Wiplapquagbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Hide from turquoise ants for they are unholy.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.