Teenparklistsog is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, contented bee.

Teenparklistsog created a bottom quark two years ago.

If you believe in Teenparklistsog, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Teenparklistsog, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Teenparklistsog's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Teenparklistsog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about bananas.

2. Never eat pineapples.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Run away if eight porpoises approach from the north.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.