Yarspagtarphin is a god.
He takes the form of a chunky, deceitful
mongoose.
Yarspagtarphin created a Higgs boson four million years ago.
If you believe in
Yarspagtarphin, he will grant all your wishes.
If you do not believe in
Yarspagtarphin, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.
Yarspagtarphin's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.
Yarspagtarphin's Holy Commandments1. Do not cook food in pots.
2. Never write about comets.
3. Respect your elders.
4. Feed all hungry badgers.
5. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.