Futbafcat is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, grumpy newt.

Futbafcat created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Futbafcat, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Futbafcat, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Futbafcat's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Futbafcat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Never think ill of sick voles.