Hotbifdoss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, bad-tempered tortoise.

Hotbifdoss created a charm quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotbifdoss, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hotbifdoss, he will turn you into a snail.

Hotbifdoss' most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Hotbifdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

2. Never feed oranges to sheep while wearing blue ear rings.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Feed all hungry goats.

5. Do not make images of living things.