Lakteendum is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, annoying dolphin.

Lakteendum created the planet Saturn six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakteendum, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lakteendum, he will turn you into a puffin.

Lakteendum's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Lakteendum's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Lakteendum three times a day.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never talk about black holes.