Lamrawik is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, temperamental tortoise.

Lamrawik created gold three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamrawik, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lamrawik, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Lamrawik's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Lamrawik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.