Betcanrag is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, unsympathetic gorilla.

Betcanrag created humanity five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Betcanrag, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Betcanrag, he will turn you into a puffin.

Betcanrag's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Betcanrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never laugh near sheep.

3. Never mention frogs.

4. You must never eat bananas.

5. Pray towards the east.