Lognurtban is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, loving weasel.

Lognurtban created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lognurtban, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Lognurtban, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Lognurtban's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Lognurtban's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always help whales in need.

3. Do not wear white clothing.

4. You must love Lognurtban.

5. Always help sick shrews.