Bugpakxen is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, blissful capybara.

Bugpakxen created gold two million years ago.

If you believe in Bugpakxen, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bugpakxen, she will laugh at you.

Bugpakxen's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Bugpakxen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear cyan clothing.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

5. Run away if seven pigs approach from the east.