Gunpidnart is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, ill-tempered crane.

Gunpidnart created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gunpidnart, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gunpidnart, he will turn you into a mouse.

Gunpidnart's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Gunpidnart's Holy Commandments

1. Gunpidnart loves seals, so they must be respected.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not wear iron on your body.