Tarjinarn is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, idiotic bat.

Tarjinarn created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarjinarn, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tarjinarn, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tarjinarn's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Tarjinarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near snakes.

2. Put Tarjinarn first in all things.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

5. Pray towards the south.