Nullsafmid is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unthinking goose.

Nullsafmid created the planet Jupiter four million years ago.

If you believe in Nullsafmid, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nullsafmid, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Nullsafmid's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Nullsafmid's Holy Commandments

1. Turtles are not to be trusted.

2. Nullsafmid loves goats, so they must be respected.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.