Vegbophimtifjon is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, annoying clam.

Vegbophimtifjon created matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vegbophimtifjon, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vegbophimtifjon, it will curse you with boils.

Vegbophimtifjon's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Vegbophimtifjon's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bananas.

2. Never mention shrews.

3. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Vegbophimtifjon on top of all buildings.

4. Always treat rats with great respect.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.