Bedwitlist is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, all-knowing hamster.

Bedwitlist created humankind two years ago.

If you believe in Bedwitlist, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bedwitlist, it will manifest in front of you.

Bedwitlist's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Bedwitlist's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.

2. Never feed corn to turtles while wearing green ear rings.

3. Do not hurt monkeys.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.