Gud is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, uncaring goat.

Gud created the Virgo Supercluster seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gud, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gud, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Gud's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Gud's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never eat rice.

3. Never wear jumpers.

4. Do not eat beans.

5. Hide from green manatees for they are unholy.