Vigkopmum is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, irritating aardvark.

Vigkopmum created humanity eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vigkopmum, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Vigkopmum, it will have a low opinion of you.

Vigkopmum's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Vigkopmum's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not dye your hair gray.

3. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

4. Always help pigs in need.

5. Never wear cyan ear rings.