Arfjarnmin is a god.

It takes the form of a large, capable lizard.

Arfjarnmin created the planet Mars seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Arfjarnmin, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Arfjarnmin, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Arfjarnmin's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Arfjarnmin's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Arfjarnmin.

2. Never wear violet stockings.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.