Quafsagquill Kipquimcum is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, astonishing tapir.

Quafsagquill Kipquimcum created the Virgo Supercluster twelve years ago.

If you believe in Quafsagquill Kipquimcum, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quafsagquill Kipquimcum, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Quafsagquill Kipquimcum's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Quafsagquill Kipquimcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. You must pray to Quafsagquill Kipquimcum six times a day.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always wear gray.