Gesstinfed is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, selfish chicken.

Gesstinfed created the planet Venus eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gesstinfed, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Gesstinfed, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gesstinfed's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Gesstinfed's Holy Commandments

1. Gesstinfed must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Worship no other gods but Gesstinfed.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.