Hubtomhap is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, amazing guinea pig.

Hubtomhap created humanity five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hubtomhap, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hubtomhap, she will come to you in dreams.

Hubtomhap's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Hubtomhap's Holy Commandments

1. Put Hubtomhap first in all things.

2. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

4. Hide if nine foxes approach from the south.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.